The Darkest Fairytale published on Amazon

Thank you all for supporting me and following my work throughout the years. I’m glad to announce that The Darkest Fairytale is available on kindle and paperback. Yay 🙂

K

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Creation

In the beginning, the universe was born,

A cosmic masterpiece, art so adorned,

Stars and planets, all in place,

A majestic tapestry, in cosmic space.

First came the light, a dazzling display,

A burst of colour, a vibrant array.

Then came the stars, sparkling in the night,

A twinkling wonder, a celestial sight.

The Moon, a partner to the Sun,

A lover, in a dance of one,

Their rhythms intertwined, in a cosmic display,

A ballet of light, that forever would play.

The Earth took shape, with land and seas,

A world of wonder, a place of peace,

Creatures great and small, roamed the land,

A diverse world, so incredibly grand.

And finally, humans came to be,

Endowed with reason, and the gift to see,

The beauty and wonder, of creation’s plan,

And to live in harmony, with nature’s span.

Now we stand in awe of creation’s might,

The endless expanse of day and night,

The boundless beauty of our world,

Its mysteries and wonders, forever unfurled.

So let us celebrate, this gift of creation,

A force of nature, a boundless sensation,

For in every act of creation, we find,

A spark of the divine, a glimpse of the sublime.

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The darkest hours

My lungs hurt

From the silent screams,

My tears burn

From all the broken dreams.

My body aches

From yearning for home,

My mind is disorientated

From fading into the unknown.

My eyes cannot focus

From the blinding of lights,

My nerves are shattered

From the wars at night.

My heart is lost

Because it never found a home,

My energy is a ghost

Pacing around different zones.

My skin has aged

From all the stress,

My hair is unbrushed

I am a mess.

There’s a dark cloud

Following me around,

I can feel the abyss

Burying me into the ground.

Depression came

And it conquered

I don’t recognise this girl

And my days feel numbered.

All I wanted

Was someone to understand,

To see me and hear me

Just hold my hand.

K

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Ghost

When I am a ghost
I will not forget how to live.
I will bring direction to those who are lost,
Because I will not forget how to give.
When I am a ghost
I will not forget how to love.
I will send others signs
They’ll believe they were sent from above.
When I am a ghost
I will teach people how to release,
Any souls that are in chaos
I will bring them peace.
When I am a ghost
I will not forget how to dream.
I will spend my days thanking Earth,
And exploring the in-between.
When I am a ghost
I will be completely free
Because my soul will shine
So I will never forget me.

K

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A perfect imperfection

I’ve never been perfect

I’m just perfectly flawed,

With broken edges

That are curved & broad.

I’ve been ripped apart

Only to be stitched,

Sewn with resilience

And a little added bitch.

I’m a cocktail of disaster

A messed-up recipe,

With a teaspoon of spice

And a dash of profanity.

Just like a hurricane

I’m beautiful to view,

I’m just not a storm

You want to get sucked into.

With a life forged

Full of transformation

I became perfect

A perfect imperfection

K

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Soul engineer

Fix your body
Against my heart,
Let your hands wander
Writing passion
With thoughts of art.
Design my dreams
Caress my flaws,
Let my body sync
In time with yours.
Leave your love
Pressed on my lips,
Thrust your desire
Through my hips.
Breathe in my hope
Structure my fears,
Leave your mark
As my soul engineer.

K

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Paper heart

Paper knows me best

With every word, it’s felt me break

All the tears

Inked into heartbreak.

It’s not at all a sad story

Paper has seen me transform,

Like a phoenix, I’ve risen from the ashes

And once again, I’m reborn.

I got lost along the way

Caught up in the universe’s mystery,

It led me on a new path.

The path of self-mastery.

So, I’m here and I’m there

In the world, but in isolation,

Mastering my mind and the elements

Bringing light into this generation.

I’m not new and I’m not ancient

I’m present within time,

Listening to the frequencies

And creating rhymes.

K

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Written in the stars

When I see the stars

I remember what it was like to be one.

I close my eyes

And I feel the innocence of infinity.

I can see myself in space

Burning brighter and brighter

In my original, authentic form,

Utterly free. 

I’m surrounded by an ocean of glittery stardust 

Which transforms into spectrums of colour.

As unconditional love pours from me,

Shapes form

And planets are birthed. 

My energy spreads like a wildfire

As I dance with frequencies, 

And synchronise with vibrations

Creating a garden of harmonious cosmic waves. 

I’m connected to the other stars

We tell each other the stories of time,

And make love in the nothingness.

The silence is our peace

And the endless void is our garden to grow in.

As an earthling, I now roam this planet

With a memory of my roots.

I’m able to witness creation with my eyes,

And experience the miracle of life through my senses.

Each day I’m comforted by the city lights

And the beauty of the sun’s rays,

I’m mesmerised by candles

As their warm twinkling lights

Remind me of home. 

K

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I’m Free

I’m free from addiction

I’m free from greed,

I’m free from desire

And anything I don’t need.

I’m free from tears

I’m free from pride

I’m free from the barriers

That cause divides.

I’m free from shame

I’m free from pain

I’m free from the labels

That stereotype & name.

I’m free from violence

I’m free from the sickening

I’m free from the system

And all its conditioning.

I am free from negativity

I’m free from the escapees

I’m free from the lies

That shatter realities.

I’m free from judgement

I’m free from control,

I’m free from the illusions

That suppress my soul.

K

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Lucid dream

In the silence and stillness
Is where I dream,
Surrounded by nothingness
And conscious streams.
I drift deeper and deeper
Away from the physical dimension,
Relaxing more and more
And letting go of any tension.
Only peace remains
My mind is at rest,
It knows when I’m safe
It knows the universe best.
There is a feeling of vastness
In a moment of forever,
A home without definition
An eternity to treasure.
When my dream becomes lucid
I find myself floating through space,
Wrapped in the universe
And held safely in gravity’s embrace.
The cosmos guides me home
As I awake from my slumber,
I’m left with questions of infinity
As the lucid filled me with wonder.

K

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Cosmic lullaby

As I dream
The moon dances
In a cosmic ring. 
Amplifying the melodies
Of the frequencies that sing. 
The rings of Saturn shimmer 
Under the Sun’s radar,
Transmitting spectrums of colour
Through the twinkling of stars.
The comets pass in admiration 
Observing the galaxies form,
From particles to atoms 
In an explosive electrical storm. 
The specks of stardust scatter 
Into gravitational streams,
Giving birth to new worlds
And creating magical dreams.
Lullabies vibrate
From the Universes song,
When I look up to the sky
I look up to where I belong.
At night when I sleep
I write my memoirs,
As I drift into space
I’m safely tucked into the stars.
My energy is cleansed
In the dimensional planes,
I’ll awaken from the nothingness
Born from the silence & stillness again.

K

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The comedown

Tonight, started out good
But I’ve started tripping again,
Someone mixed up my drink
With some kind of hallucinogen.
Like Alice in Wonderland syndrome
It’s messing with my perception,
The rooms are changing in size
Whilst unicorns block the reception.
The floor is spinning in circles
The walls are closing in
Fairies are stripping on the chandelier
Whilst spiders are crawling up my skin.
It went from one extreme to another
“Have one more drink” she said
I didn’t think I’d be slaying monsters
Trying to decapitate my head.
Kicked out by the queen of hearts
Straight into a taxi with a killer clown,
Collapsing on my bed in disbelief
This is going to be one hell of a comedown.

K
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Fallen world

The earth splits
With my feet on both sides,
Gravity pulls me down
I’m diving into crashing tides.
The world has fallen
Like the angels once fell,
My head is spinning around
I’m tumbling from this carousel.
I’m screaming at the skies
The clouds give me no answer,
I’m left with a sinking hope
My feet are tied to an anchor.
Closing my eyes, I see your face
Your beauty drowns all my fear,
Those final moments approach
I’m ready now, you are here.

K

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The Labyrinth (5D)

I close my eyes & lucid dream
Only to ascend into golden streams,
A maze of paths & endless patterns
So many spirals, how did this happen?

I drift around in all this awe
With hidden knowledge, I can’t ignore
Removing the blocks, lifting the veil
Holy fuck ‘we are the Holy grail’

This nothingness is a lot to apprehend
My mind explodes as I transcend,
Euphoria grabs hold & I’m not going to lie
I’m in sync with all, I can almost fly.

Frequency surges and codes appears
Spreading the light, everything is clear
We’ll share our love to open this door
And face a beauty like never before.

Never wished to become a teacher
With ‘love & balance’ to every creature
Open your mind & escape this World
Lose the ego, and then rebuild.

At one with all, I’m fully aware
Consciousness has stripped me bare,
I lost my mind somewhere in Space
The Universe exposed my truest face.

With a system drilled into our heads
Designed to keep the mind fed,
We’re to break away and finally be free
It’s time to awaken, you are the key.

K

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Christmas comforts

There is something special

In the winter atmosphere,

It releases a magical energy

In the frost bite every year.

From the crackles of a fire

And the snuggles under a blanket,

With the scent of apple cinnamons

Coming from the family banquet.

Lights twinkle from the Christmas trees

Filling eyes full of wonder,

With rooms of celebrations

And ridiculous festive jumpers.

The sky covers the horizon

In a blanket of shimmering snow,

As children make their snowmen

With cold cheeks that glow.

Christmas is a magical time

That is nice and cosy,

The one time of the year

That feels so homely.

The comfort of family

And the giving and receiving,

It is the one time of year

Where the magic comes from believing.

K

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The bringing

From fire to water,

And water to Earth

I bring this planet

Into rebirth.

From ashes to dawn

and dawn till dusk,

I bring this planet

Into love.

From the stars and Moon

To the Moon and Sun,

I bring this planet

Into one.

From stillness to peace

And peace to energy,

I bring this planet

Into stability.

From words to actions

and actions to intent,

I bring this planet

Into the present.

From atoms to light

And light to oracles,

I bring this planet

Into miracles.

K

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The Darkest Fairytale published on Amazon

Hello All,

I’m glad to announce that The Darkest Fairytale is now available on kindle and paperback. Please download or buy a copy. It will be available for free (on kindle) from tomorrow (23/08/2022) for 5 days. Please leave a review. Thank you for supporting me on my poetic journey.

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Broken art.

Become my artist
For just one day,
Sculpture me with passion
Masked in delicate clay.
Paint me with detail
Like I’m a masterpiece,
Canvas me in freedom
Shelter me into sheets.
Spray me onto walls
With your graffiti art,
Frame the imperfections
Of my fractured heart.
With colour of joy
And tears of charcoal,
Hang me in a gallery
For broken souls.

K

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Inspire

I’d love to save the world
Every piece created,
Fill hearts full of love
Instead of anger & hatred.
I would give my all
To save mankind,
Open closed hearts
To free ignorant minds.
I’m not good or bad
Or a poisoned seed,
I’m not afraid to fail
I’m not afraid to bleed.
I’m a one women army
Filled with passion & fire,
I wasn’t born to lead
I was born to inspire.

K

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Ecstasy

Your every touch teases
All my nerves,
Your tongue torments
All my curves.
An unholy sensation
Beneath my skin,
My body craves
To feel you within.
In every kiss
I feel your frustration,
Filled with passion
& a dirty imagination.
You have me begging
Within this chemistry,
As with every thrust
I’m consumed by ecstasy.

K

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The unknown, we already know- Short story

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space. But that scream comes from the silence. A deadly silence. The silence of change. A silence I was all too familiar with. I lost count of how many nights I would meditate and lose myself in the unknown. Just sitting in the void of creation, allowing my imagination to go wild. I also lost count of how many times I screamed in there.

Mediation was my escape from life. Since being a small child, I looked at the world and I was always aware there was more. More than the adults telling me how to live, more than the teachers trying to condition me. More than the cycles and routines people forced themselves to follow. Most importantly, I knew there was more to come. My nature has always been wild, and you can’t cage the wild. It will always break free.

Over a number of years, I became heavily involved in my own spiritual journey and in the ‘great awakening’. As a child, I believed I was here for something greater than myself, something magnificent, and I finally found it. The part I did not prepare for was how bumpy the journey was.

When people hear the word spirituality, they associate it with religion, hippies, tree hugging, and candles, which is not the case. Even before religion, if Jesus existed, he would have gone on a spiritual journey to discover, ‘what is’. Religion wasn’t created until he began to teach, except his perspective was one perspective. In 2022, there are millions of perspectives on that same spiritual journey, and the one thing we all agree on, is that a new Earth is already here.

In meditation and chakra work, our genetics and bodies are aligning with a new earth along with 5D frequencies, vibrations, space and a new existence. It’s just part of life; life evolves, and no-one can escape or prevent evolution. This planet wasn’t made for one species, it was made for millions, and Earth’s evolution to the next stage has already begun. As Charles Darwin once said: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change. “

The Great Awakening is a cycle that’s repeated itself throughout the history of Earth. For those that don’t know, we are not the first in history to create technology or the most advanced. There are similar references all referring to technology in the history of the Babylonians, Sumerians, Aztecs, Incas, and Ancient Egyptians. They all gave it different names. Even the bible quotes a rapture. However, the one common cycle that brings an end to a civilization is technological advances. When technology or the planet hits a place of “no return,” something new is created, and those alive to experience it, are not here by mistake. Many will transcend into a new light, while the remaining will end their cycle here, born into another 3D evolving planet until they break their cycle and evolve.

5D Earth has already been created and has always been present. People just woke up and began to tune in. The transformation requires you to unlearn everything you’ve ever been taught and to learn it again, from nature, energy healing (chakra) or meditation. The ascension process teaches you to let go of fears, desires, guilt, shame, ignorance, arrogance, illusions, and all the 3D behaviours that hold us back, to align with oneness.

Oneness is everything. Everything that is and everything we are. Some call it God, spirit, love, the universe, existence or the source. But to me oneness is the infinite, accepting, freedom, understanding and unconditioned. It contains no ego. Imagine the universe saying to you, “You give me all your guilt and I’ll give you love; you give me all your negativity and I’ll give you light.” Tell me what you don’t know and I’ll teach you. Imagine the freedom of exposing your darkest thoughts and unmasking your deepest pain and being shown nothing but love and understanding. The Oneness teaches us how to complete ourselves and to transcend duality. We just have to trust ourselves and the unknown.

It’s only an uncomfortable journey if you resist healing when you’ve asked for healing. Which In my case, I needed a kick up the ass a few times to remind myself that I could do it. It was emotional, but I got to experience 5D and my true potential. The universe doesn’t respond to our desires, only our frequency, vibration, or energy. If you choose to not evolve, you’re telling the universe you’re not ready to move forward. If you’re ready to move forward but don’t know how to begin, ask it. and it will guide you.

There are no right or wrong paths to follow. If you’re lost, then it doesn’t matter which path you take. Set the direction, listen to your gut and allow your intuition to light the way. All rivers lead to the ocean, and all paths lead to oneness. You just have to set the direction.

Anyway, it’s time for me to return to the vacuum of space, a space in the stillness, peace, silence, and calm of nothingness. A space behind my eyes where my distant scream echoes into infinity. I’ll meet you there. I’ll meet you in 5D.

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Heart of time

Let’s dance together

One last night,

I’ll follow your rhythm

As you hold me tight.

I’ll take in your scent

As I feel you breathe,

We’ll sway into the night

Before I have to leave.

Our hearts will beat

In tune together,

When souls merge

We’ll dance forever.

Our meeting of chance

This moment of surprise,

An invite of passion

Through the sparks in our eyes.

We’ll be strangers of the night

Flowing with the rhythm of grace,

Dancing our song of love

In the crowds of space.

If we don’t meet again

That would be fine,

Our memories will freeze

In the heart of time

K

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Intellectual orgasm

Make love to my mind
Go down on my thoughts,
Fill my imagination
With electric shots.
Fall into my dreams
Tease my perception,
Infect me with words
With a lethal injection.
Present me with lessons
Feed every greedy hole,
Tempt my curious mind
Taste my hungry soul.
Spread your fire
Cover me in passion
Bring more than physical
To an intellectual orgasm.

K

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Inking agony

Paper can’t handle
The ink that I spill,
There’s a curse hidden
Behind my quill.
Letters turn to acid
Paper to ash,
The alphabet cries
When emotions clash.
My writing is messy
There is no design,
I don’t fix in any box
Or in-between the lines.
When it comes to art
You must give insanity,
As poetic truths
Are inked with agony.

K

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Alien

I’m the bones
Of my past,
The marrow
Of my future,
The memories
That will last.
I’m the eyes
Of the present,
The beat
Of tomorrow,
With the blood
Of the forgotten.
I’m the energy
Of the rising,
The strength
Of the fallen.
I am human,
But this life
Is alien.

K

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Beautifully vulnerable

He always protected me
But for just one moment,
I witnessed his pain & vulnerability.
He held back his hurt and tears
I glanced for a second more,
Before I held him in my arms
And whispered,
How many times did you need me
And I wasn’t there?

K

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Singularity

In this lifetime
And the next,
I’ll always return
Back to love.
As love is my eternal
My inifinite and everlasting,
Love is my truth.
And my curious soul
Will always awaken,
To the wonder of existence
& to the excitement
Of the unknown.
I’ll always return
To that single moment,
Where we’ve all met before
And we’ll meet again,
As the singularity
United as one.

K

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Mr time

He is judging me
The man called time,
Waving his hands at me
Because he’s holding mine.
Moving the dials forward
He will not go back,
The only time I see the past
Is through the flashbacks.
I can hear him calling me
Through the clocks,
His messages are coded
Into the ticks and tocks.
Time is like a maze
It doesn’t freeze,
So many dead ends
Without any keys.
Those dials of his
Want me to break,
As they never give time
They always take.

K

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Dark energy

You’re a chemical reaction
Of poison and lust,
Stitched together
With bad intentions
To the crust.
A magnetic pull
Of dark energy,
Curiously intriguing
You are to me.
A combination
Of heartache
And smoking gold,
A deadly toxin
I just need to hold.
You are a bad habit
I don’t want to quit
A delicious outsider,
The beautiful misfit.
Your charming innocence
Is exquisitely scary,
There’s something addictive
About extraordinary.
You’re a disaster
Waiting to happen,
A form of self destruction
I could only imagine.
My brain tells me no
But my devoted heart
Wants the chaos of you
And I can’t let it go.

K

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The darkest fairytale

Blackening hearts

You’re no Cinderella,

Walking around in stilettos

Wearing only black leather.

Getting lost in a forest

Like Little Red Riding Hood,

You can wear her innocence

But baby, you’ll never be good.

You are the beauty

You are the beast,

Eating the poison apples

Like It’s a feast.

Taking over castles

They made you queen,

Turning you into

An ice machine.

Fairy tales too brutal

To be written,

No prince or princess

Just a bitch that didn’t listen.

This isn’t a story

About love & laughter,

It’s the darkest fairytale

With no happy ever after.

K

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Final chapter

If the world was ending,

Would you be there?

I’d be standing on a roof

Shooting a flare.

Would you race by my side?

To wipe away my tears,

Holding me in your arms

As we faced our final fears.

When we take our last breath,

Could you look me in the eye?

Tell me everything will be okay

Knowing our dreams would die.

Tomorrow will be ashes

Yesterday would be gone,

No more walks on the beach

Or dusk until dawns.

But in our final moments

I know that I will be okay,

As you’d be there beside me

Which no force could take away.

K

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Music

Music is my emotion
A second heartbeat,
The notes feel like passion
The words taste bittersweet.
Travelling through my ears
Connecting to my veins,
The rhythm fuses my blood
The melody numbs the pain.
It’s a language we all understand
The magic ignites deep inside,
Like colours to a spectrum
Exploding when beats collide.
Note by note I find soul
Pitched in the waves of time,
Music became my home
In a soul of endless rhyme.

K

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Infatuation

I’m the girl

That falls

In love

Every night.

Looking up

Lusting,

After the stars.

Captivated by the

Moonlight.

Falling in love

With everything

Beautiful,

Yet everything

Unreachable.

K

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Never afraid

I’m not afraid
To shout,
I’m not afraid
To sing,
I was never
Afraid of
Yesterday,
Or what
Tomorrow
Will bring.
I’m not afraid
To dream,
I’m not afraid
To fail,
I was never
Afraid to
Write,
The darkest
Fairytale.
I’m not afraid
To live,
I’m not afraid
To die,
I’ve never been
Afraid
Of saying
Goodbye.

K

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Worst day ever

My imaginary friend
Stole my unicorn,
My pet phoenix
Turned into flames.
The voices in my head
Are ignoring me,
& the boogieman is drunk,
With the monster hiding
Under my bed.
The mad hatter lost my key
& Neverland has rejected me,
So you can only imagine
What a shit day I’m having.

K

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Flight of freedom

Floating higher & higher

Like a flame on fire.

Gravity,

Leaving my side

Allowing me,

To feel alive.

Air surrounding me

Like a blanket,

As I slowly emerge

From this planet.

Flying into the unknown

Such a beauty,

Finding my purpose

& my duty.

A touch of freedom

Nothing can reach me,

As I look down

At this World created

Much natural beauty,

Clouded by hatred.

This one moment

Is mine to climb,

Tonight’s my time

To rise & glow,

As I depart from reality

Lost in orbit

As I flow,

Amongst the stars

& the comets.

Releasing my mind

From this World,

Far behind.

For when I wake

From this sleep,

I pray this feeling

I can keep.

K

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Population unknown – Short story

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. The candle was so bright it illuminated the surrounding forest into a hypnotic lure. A lure that called all the local children from the small town of Pettifer to a haunting end. Pettifer had a population of around 8000 people. With barely any crime and surrounded by nature, Pettifer was an idyllic place to live, until now.

Most of the children were in bed at the time. There was an eerie force that swept through town, giving everyone goosebumps and shivers. The force caused the town to rise from its slumber. Hundreds of children aged between 4 and 10 years old began to walk. They walked out the front door and were all heading in the same direction, toward the old peak cabin.

The cabin had been abandoned for generations. It was located in the middle of Burrow Forest, and an unsettling feeling surrounded it. The cabin itself was barely standing. It had a hole in the roof, and the doors and windows were always open. The old brown timber had begun to rot, and there was a stench of death that oozed from its rotting frame. There were many disappearances and myths that surrounded the cabin. But none were found to be true until “the night of children,” as urban legends called it, and until this day, the surviving ancestors still tell the story.

The children walked through the forest in their pyjamas and bare feet, some of them still clutching their teddy bears and blankets. Their parents tried to prevent them from walking further, but a strong force sent them flying. The cries of the parents still echo in the forest to this day.

The children were unresponsive and completely silent; they were in some sort of trance. The children were oblivious to their parents’ cries. Once the children stepped onto the land belonging to the cabin, there was no saving them. The parents could not enter as there was an invisible wall blocking them. They were frantically trying to get through the field, throwing things at it, anything to save their children. But it was out of their control. Some described the children’s behaviour as peaceful. There was no fear or tears, just peace.

The children stepped into the cabin one by one and headed to the room with the burning candle. The candle would flicker, causing a moment of complete darkness, and the child would disappear. That was the last time they were seen. There was no explanation, just a disappearance. After all the children entered, the force around the cabin vanished. The parents ran into the cabin. There was nothing. No children, no bodies. The only remnants were the teddies and blankets that were left in a pile on the floor in front of the candle, which continued to burn.

The grieving parents ransacked the cabin. Once they realised the children had gone, their grief turned into anger. They took the candle and set fire to the cabin. A lot of the parents blamed themselves or others. There were a lot of fights and arguments between the adults. Some refused to believe what had happened and returned home, waiting for their children to return. When the children disappeared, so did the physical memories of them, such as photographs and paperwork. There was no evidence that the children even existed.

The once peaceful town became a place of chaos. A lot of adults were now unstable, and insanity spread like a wildfire as people tried to string together theories and ideas about the lost children. Search parties began, and the whole area surrounding the cabin was dug up.

Around a thousand skeletons were found underneath the cabin. A lot of the skeletons mostly belonged to children; some were adults. Autopsies were done and DNA analysis confirmed that the children had died 300 years ago. There was no way of knowing who the children belonged to as there were no records of missing children previously. All that remained was the candle that once burned in the window. 

The story reached the mainstream media, and the government took hold of the case. As there was no evidence that the children existed, and after extensive testing they deemed that the candle, was in fact just a regular candle. The authorities convinced the world that a chemical leak had caused severe hallucinations, insanity, and confusion across the population of Pettifer. What the government couldn’t explain, so they buried the information, is that there were no children aged 4–10 that remained in Pettifer. They closed the case and took the candle and left Pettifer without any closure for the town.

Until this day, no one would ever know what happened to the children, nor would they ever understand the heartache and insanity the parents felt. I guess the question that lingered was, what was the truth? which was scarier to believe, hundreds of children vanished into thin air, or the government had the power to convince an entire population that it was all a lie?

K

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Gone but not forgotten

You may be gone

And my words can’t measure,

How your love became

My greatest treasure.

Those who have passed

Will never go away,

They walk beside us

Every day.

A branch fell

From the family tree,

An ache began

Inside of me,

You are at peace

And now you can rest.

The time spent together

Will always be blessed.

When I look for you now

I look to the skies.

You are in space

Where you rise,

Brightly shining

As a star,

You are never close

But you’re never far.

When I am down

And I shed a tear

I know you are watching

As I feel you near,

Life goes on

I’ve felt pain,

But one day,

We’ll be together again.

K

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Inhale me

Feel the curves
Of my existence.
Exhale my name
In anticipation.
Taste me,
Without any resistance.
Use your tongue
To talk to my flesh.
Conquer me
With your seduction.
Break me down
Into a single molecule,
And absorb all of me.
Be the poetry
To my blank page.

K

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We’re all mad here

My mind is like a rabbit hole
On an adventure to wonderland.
Not knowing whether I’d be the mad hatter
Or the Cheshire cat.
Would I transform into the Queen of Hearts?
Or fall into a pool of my own tears.
Maybe I’m a lost girl not in wonderland,
But lost in my own mind.
Not chasing a rabbit, but chasing time.

K

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Read twice

Glove on eagerly steady

on my knees,

I am ready

I bite my lip

and grab the shaft,

skim round the edge

With real craft.

I tease my way

down to the core.

a lot of effort

for this chore,

harder and deeper,

I break into a sweat

this much effort

I can’t forget.

Working hard like a machine

but I always feel better

when the toilet is clean.

K

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Intricate

I live in a masterpiece

An absolute work of art,

Beauty is everywhere

Created from the Universes heart.

From the gravitation of the stars

And the vibration of tunes,

Love is everywhere

Thanks to the Sun & Moon.

Life is a dance of frequencies

A painting with every colour,

With shines, glimmers and twinkles.

Existence is a creativity like no other.

There’s a magic within

Energy is all around,

From the atoms and cells

To the dust on the ground.

Life is a blueprint of love

Every speck holds the secrets

Whispering into the ethers,

Listen close, can you hear it?

The spiral of life deepens

With the sacred geometry,

An art piece without an end

An art piece of infinite quality.

The universes unique architecture

In which everything aligns

From the detail of a snowflake

To a stars design.

I live in a fairy-tale

A true masterpiece of art,

From the life I experience

To what I feel in my heart.

I’ve found my place in the world

I am in sync,

I love Earth with all my being

This is how I think.

As child I observed

Through innocent eyes,

The soul is connected

and true love never dies.

K

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Heart of wax

This heart of mine

Was once a candle,

It became a wildfire

It was too much to handle.

The flame disappeared

They realised I was broken,

Only silenced remained

And my words unspoken.

I tried to fit in this world

And find my home,

The more people learned

The more I felt alone.

I became an outcast

The freak of the street,

All because I chose to march

To my own beat.

This heart of mine

Is now left with cracks,

The fire that once burned

Is nothing more than wax.

K

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Disguise

Open your eyes
To existence,
Shadows scatter
Into the distance.
Touched & tamed
By depression itself,
Masking reflection
In someone else.
Darkness comforts
As walls bleed,
In a garden of cold
Full of weeds.
Echoes whisper
What I can’t hear,
Yet colours wave
As messages appear.
Misfiring chemicals
Are black & white,
Yet colours are vivid,
In the dark of night.
Seeing more
Or hearing less,
It’s reality of dreams
Wrapped in madness.

K

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Homesick

I’m homesick for a place
I don’t know exists,
My body feels out of place
As this reality turns & twists.
It’s like a surreal dream
Which has many layers,
I’m trapped in this madness
Locked in my mind,
Just like Alice.
I’m very lonely here
It’s far too silent,
Paths are disappearing
And the sun is hiding.
The trees are frozen
Leaves don’t fall,
There’s nothing in the air
Except my desperate call.
I’m like an alien
Invading this planet,
But I’m slowly sinking
Just like the Titanic.
The doors are locked
I’m in too deep,
I pray for reality
To wake me from this sleep.

K

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An overactive soul

I’m a shadow bending

Into a whisper

Look through the rain

You’ll see me shimmer

A lost paper heart

Echoing through a fire,

Burning higher & higher

With immense desire.

I’m like speeding car

I have no brakes,

A broken mirror

Full of mistakes,

Maybe I’m a phoenix

Waiting to be reborn,

Or an old sweater

That’s rugged & worn.

I’m chasing stars

Like the astronauts,

Floating in space

Just like my thoughts,

I’m completely mad

Just like the hatter,

Filling oceans with the tears

That no longer matter.

I’m a free spirit

Living to thrive,

Building my dreams,

Until they come alive.

With the confidence of a god

I’m calculating my worth,

As a lost satellite

Orbiting earth?

K

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Ice queen

She is a queen

With a broken crown,

Living in her ice castle

In a tattered gown.

Her tears and pain

Are scarred onto her throne,

In this kingdom of ghosts

Were she walks alone.

Her castle is sinking

From the anchors they tied,

She is not afraid

As she has already died.

She doesn’t need an army

Her walls are built high,

So far from the ground

She can touch the sky.

She sits in the clouds

Prepared to fight,

Waiting for her ashes

To scatter into meteorite.

She is the fearless queen

Living worlds away,

She can’t be discovered

In just one day.

K

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Porcelain Doll

I am very similar

To my porcelain skin,

Smooth on the surface

Yet hollow within.

If you look closely

You can trace the tracks,

Of this worn exterior

That has started to crack.

As the world ticks

And steals my tocks,

I’m swimming in a sea

With a pocket of rocks.

I’m strong & sturdy

Yet a fragile little thing,

My strength is carried

On my broken wings.

With pale white skin

and bright red lips,

I’m the doll you comfort

In your fingertips.

Just one last drop

and I will fail to exist,

As my history will scatter

Into a porcelain mist.

K

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Grandma Oak- Short story

Isabel hummed as she danced through the meadow, The wind blew through her long brown hair and graced her pale skin. The wildflowers were fully grown and they illuminated the meadow with an ocean of scents and a palette of colours and textures. Isabel came here every evening just before sunset to be with nature. Wearing a white and pink long daisy dress and dirty bare feet, she made her way to her favourite place. To Grandma Oak tree, who was grounded at the end of the meadow just at the entrance of the woodland.

Grandma was an ancient angel oak tree. It was estimated that Grandma Oak was around 800 years old, and Grandma wasn’t just a tree. She was a spirit of life and a mystical wonder to Isabel, who spent many days there connecting and sharing all her woes.

Grandma’s branches were extremely large, almost 200 feet long. The draping limbs and wide spreading canopy created a perfect place for Isabel to rest. She’d lie on one of Grandma’s gnarled branches with her bare feet buried in the soil and leaves beneath and an arm behind her head, gazing up at the array of twisted branches. Isabel would share her curiosity about life with the tree’s wisdom. She was always full of questions and concerns about life.

“Grandma, are we all connected?” If so, why can’t I hear you? “Can you hear me?” Isabel asked.

She inhaled a deep breath, and a warmth appeared in the middle of her chest. The warmth was comforting, and a tear fell down her cheek. Isabel no longer felt alone. Her awareness of her surroundings was amplified, and she felt at one with everything. Isabel looked back at the meadow. She saw the butterflies pollinating and a family of squirrels entering the woodland. She noticed the unique shapes of the trees leaves and mushrooms surrounding the stump. Colours were more vivid, and although Isabel had seen colours before, this felt like she was truly experiencing what colour was. At that moment, Isabel didn’t feel alone. She couldn’t hear Grandma Oak, but she could feel her. Isabel felt surrounded by a sea of love and connections. For the first time, she wasn’t just experiencing creation; she was witnessing creation and the miracles that surrounded her. Her eyes and heart were open, and the warmth in Isabel’s chest spread through her body, and Isabel felt at peace.

Isabel realised she had spent many days questioning and not enough time just being present. She closed her eyes and just listened to the melodies of life that surrounded her. She heard the rhythm of the birds’ chirping and felt the vibrations of the bees buzzing. She noticed the way the wind moved through the trees and how it interacted with the leaves and flowers without any resistance. Isabel’s definition of harmony was to live without resistance.

Isabel jumped to her feet with such excitement, and said to Grandma Oak, “Earth is an orchestra of instruments, and I’m a musical note contributing to the song of life.”

With a smile beaming from ear to ear, Isabel danced around Grandma Oak. She synchronised her movements with the flow of the wind. With her arms spread, Isabel learned what it felt like to fly. To be at one with the flow of life. She let the wind carry her and lead the dance.

A wave of happiness spread across the meadow and woodland, and Isabel swore she heard the flowers giggle. The meadow brought out the innocence in Isabel, because her innocence was always tied to her curiosity about life and learning it all through the teachings of Mother Earth.

A warmth of love shivered through Isabel’s core. It was a shiver of unconditional love, a sacred love, a final spur of wisdom from Grandma Oak. A lesson in how connected we all are. We share the same secrets and the same beautiful moments. The nurturing energy of the beaming sun and the protection of the mysterious moon. We live in a moment, witnessing creation through a window of time. Isabel had returned to the true nature of life. Any tension and resistance felt inside Isabel was gone. She witnessed how simple and peaceful life is.

Isabel thanked Grandma Oak for her time and wisdom with a hug and kiss.

She whispered to Grandma Oak, “The sun is setting and I need to get back before the sky goes dark.” I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll read you some of my poetry. “

Isabel left, but on her way back to her cabin, she observed her surroundings from a new perspective. She was finally witnessing the blessing of life. She could smell all the unique scents that surrounded her. She witnessed the geometry of nature with all its unique shapes and sizes. She could feel the warmth in the wind and the dampness building in the atmosphere. At that moment, she knew rain was coming. Her senses were always connected, except she was never connected to herself.

Isabel became aware of her own life. She has her own shape, and she too has a scent, a frequency of sound, and a palette of colours. With trillions of cells, communicating and working to support her life, atoms, nerves, and blood pumping through her veins. For the first time, she felt like a miracle. She never knew the feeling or emotion of experiencing herself as a miracle, and she burst out in tears with no words that could have described the moment.

Isabel always spoke about travelling to experience life. That day, she finally learned a powerful lesson: life is always present and to be experienced. She just needed to tune in, and when she did, Isabel found that life was also experiencing her. She didn’t need to travel; she just needed to let in the environment by opening her heart to it. She went home with a new outlook on life and an appreciation for the finest and most intricate details found in nature. With thanks to the wisdom held by Grandma Oak and the unconditional love of Mother Earth.

K

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The Ghost of Alice – Short story

Another short story recycled from the Abyss of Alice for a new writing competition ‘the campfire ghost story‘. The criteria is that the story must start with the first line given “The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window.” Let me know what you think.

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. This was a repetitive dream for Alice, and to her amazement, there, beyond the local church and the past gargoyles, over the meadow, she found the cabin tucked away in the woods. The cabin belonged to an old campsite that had been put up for sale, and she just knew it was meant to be. The cabin spoke to her with such mystery and charm, in a hypnotic lure. Alice could feel its character seeping through the timbers, and she fell in love with the energy released from the dark, rustic oak. Alice and her partner, James, purchased the cabin and spent a little over a year renovating and repurposing the furniture left behind, turning this abandoned cabin into a real dream. It was a new beginning for the couple, but the cabin would also deliver an ending.

It was a snowy Friday night, and the clock had just struck midnight. Alice sat on the balcony ledge, surrounded by candles, admiring the moonlit landscape of the undisturbed, crispy snow. The snow supressed all the sound and, for a moment, there was nothing but silence and the visibility of Alice’s breath. She had so much temptation to run through the snow and leave a trail of snow angels. However, she was too captivated by the ocean of stars above. The moment was truly mesmerising, just like a scene from a movie. A moment that Alice did not want to end. A moment that would last for eternity. The temperature of the air had reached freezing point and the cold shivered down into her core. She decided to take a selfie for her many Instagram followers, attempting to capture as much of the background as her lens could hold. She was foolish, Alice leant too far and lost her balance. “Shit,” She shouted as she tried to catch the ledge. Her catch was unsuccessful and she fell from the balcony.

The fall felt like she had been falling over and over again for an eternity. There was no adrenaline, just a deadly silence echoing in her state of shock. Her limbs were frozen. She could not scream or blink. The more Alice fell, the colder and darker her surroundings became. She felt like she was dissolving into nothingness over and over again. There was an anticipation of impact, which took forever to reach. However, the impact of the hard ground did not arrive as expected. Instead, Alice was greeted with the whiplash of water that would be scarred into my memories for lifetimes. She had crashed into an abyss. The water engulfed Alice, and she was pulled under. She tried to swim up as fast as her arms could move, but her clothes were too heavy. She was drowning faster than rising. The water was ice cold and the current was strong. She could not see how far under the surface she had sunk. Alice tried hardest to reach the surface, she tossed her arms and flapped her legs. As soon as her face felt the brisk air, she breathed in all the oxygen her lungs could hold and exhaled in a sharp gasp at her surroundings.

There was nothing in her sight. No sky, no horizon, no snow, and no walls. Just pitch-black darkness. She kept seeing things around her move, and she began looking for something, anything to hold onto, but there was no hope. There was no light except a small spotlight of moonlight which glistened over her and the surrounding water, except when Alice looked up, there was no moon. Was she hallucinating? Alice became nauseated; the current was just spinning her in circles. Confusion and disorientation were kicking in fast. “‘Help, help,’” she screamed. Her voice echoed and echoed into the distance. The space surrounding her was utterly silent. The type of silence that deafens you with the sound of your rapid heart thudding. She didn’t know what to do. Her situation was surreal and overwhelming. Her heart was racing, anxiety took over her and a lifetime of tears poured from Alice. She felt like she was dying over and over again.

Each tear drop turned into a river, flooding the water further. Alice tried to stop crying, but she couldn’t. The tears just kept pouring out of her. She was floating in an ocean of her own tears. Her cry bounced from silence to silence, echoing into screams of pain. Her tear drops became so cold that they began to freeze the water surrounding her. Waves were frozen within a ripple of time. She could feel the burning ice seeping into the cracks of her skin. Alice was becoming one with the abyss. She had given into a lifetime of heartache, fear, and escape. She was running out of fight. The dark ocean’s lure was consuming her. Her hands began to ice over. The blood pumping through her veins was slowing. Alice had grown cold, and now the cracks were exposing her.

Alice woke in terror. She was in her bed, back at the cabin. Her memories were fuzzy and confusion engulfed her. She jolted to her feet without hesitation and looked around. The cabin appeared different. The bed was dressed in sheets that were left behind when she moved in. Alice had thrown them out when she was renovating. She reached down and stroked the bed. Grief and loss washed over her. Tears streamed from her eyes. The sheets were covered in layers of dust and the reality was hitting hard. The rooms was filled with remains of the same abandoned furniture she had repurposed during renovations. She walked over to old mirror in the corner, She had no reflection. She was merely a shadow, yet when Alice looked down, she could see her slim frame and the ends of her long blonde hair. Panicked erupted. She ran around the cabin, frantically screaming for James. There was no one. Alice crumpled on the floor and let out a deafening scream. A scream that echoed and echoed into the void. There were no lights in the cabin, only a candle that burned in the window.

The candle flickered and Alice thought she heard someone call her name. “Alice, Alice”. Then it happened again, “Alice, Alice,” but this time it was louder. “She did hear someone shout.” She ran to the window, but no one was there. She grabbed candle and flame went out. There was no more cold or darkness, just peace. An overwhelming warmth rushed through Alice’s core. A light flashed through her gaze, and familiar voices were talking around her. Alice could hear her partner, James. He was on the phone to someone explaining how he had found Alice in the pool beneath the cabin’s balcony. He was sobbing uncontrollably. He went on to say that Alice was 3 days into a coma with a serious head injury and a broken leg. James heard the thuds and splashes and came running to Alice’s aid. The paramedics had to resuscitate Alice twice before arriving at the hospital. The doctors reassured James that everything would be okay.

For Alice, though, she would not be okay. The incident felt like an eternity; an eternity that was embedded into her memory; an eternity that would later cost her sanity. The fall didn’t kill Alice, but part of her died. When she did awaken from the coma, she was merely a ghost of the woman she used to be. She became an echo of deafening silence, walking amongst the living, part of her remains lingering in the void. Her shadow still stares out of the cabin window, holding on tightly to the candle that continues to burn.

K

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Perfect imperfection

I’ve never been perfect

I’m just perfectly flawed,

With broken edges

That are curved & broad.

I’ve been ripped apart

Only to be stitched,

Sewn with resilience

And a little added bitch.

I’m a cocktail of disaster

A messed-up recipe,

With a teaspoon of spice

And a dash of profanity.

Just like a hurricane

I’m beautiful to view,

I’m just not a storm

You want to get sucked into.

I’m an alphabet of song

With infinite meanings,

Turning letters into words

To ignite your feelings.

With a life forged

Full of transformation

I became perfect

A perfect imperfection

K

 

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Transcendence- Short story

Hello All,

Please could I have your feedback. There is a writing challenge which I am participating in. The theme is fantasy and must have the opening line of ‘There weren’t always dragons in the Valley.‘ I have written the short story below and any critique or feedback is welcome.

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. But that scream comes from a silence. A deafening silence. The silence of creation.

There weren’t always dragons in the valley. But then again, there weren’t always fairies. You see, long ago, this world was very different. But there comes a time when everything has to evolve.

The evolution of the earth came through solar flares, a prophecy and change that comes every 11 years in the sun’s cycle. Each time, new beginnings are forged by the sun. In 2022, the most powerful flare impacted Earth and cut power to the world. When the energy of the flare pierced the Earth’s electric field, genetics were affected. Not everyone survived the flare. The burst of energy caused mutations in all living creatures. Those that survived were left in grief and appreciation of their new world and the second chance they were given, and I should know as I am one of the humans that remained.

My name is Zilkrix and I am writing to you from a hill peak in the Amazon. It’s been 10 years since the flare. Time has rapidly changed, but for me it still feels like yesterday, and that’s because time feels different now, less elastic. I was 30 when the flare struck, and now 10 years later, you’d think I’d look older, when in fact I don’t look a day over 18. That’s what the mutation did. The energy gave us a burst of vitality, and now we’re younger than before.

Humans mutated into different races with power over the elements and hybrids of animals. This change made way for some unusual combinations. Whatever combination you can imagine, it exists. Ethnicity and nationality are things of the past. The real shock for me was the evolution of animals, trees, and plants. Dragons and unicorns are now reality. There are forests forged entirely of mushrooms, bigger than old office buildings. Flowers can walk and move locations, and shape-shifting is very much a trend. The shapeshifting humans do prevent you from talking to every creature like a baby and trying to pet it, just in case you’re petting a human in disguise. From experience, I can tell you this can be mortifying.

The nightlife of the New Earth is a magical place. The flare blessed all living creatures with the gift of UV luminous, which we can switch on and off as we choose. Each of us has unique patterns of UV lines, which me and my sister call HD tattoos. It helps to create nights of light, colour, and beauty with all the different creatures.

The real surprise for me was the evolution of fruit. Trees were given the ability to not only whip people with their branches when disrespected. But to also harvest dead animals by turning their meat into fruit. From the skin of the fruit, we are able to determine which animal the meat belongs to. It’s made hunting for food so simple.

Everything has become more heightened and fuller of life. It’s an awakening of magic to the senses, and it helped make the loss of the old world easier to bear. The more time went on, the more you understood why it needed to be done. More importantly, how ready we were for change.

The flare didn’t come as a surprise to many that survived; deep down we knew it was coming. We did try and warn many in the old world. However, they just called us crazy. Ignorance was bliss for a percentage of the population. They refused to evolve their own understanding or learn beyond the teachings of the system (matrix). On the old earth there was a ‘spiritually awakened population’, which I was part of. During meditation, our bodies adapted to higher frequencies and vibrations and activated many new genetics, which stayed dormant until the flare. Which meant that when the flare hit, our bodies were already aligned with the new earth. Not everyone survived the flare, but not everyone had aligned with the New Earth.

As soon as I awoke after the flare, I knew what had happened and which abilities I had. After all, I had foreseen my evolution. I began my journey to see my sister. She lived around 100 miles from me. I stepped outside and there was a strange roar from the sky. I looked up and, oh my, my legs buckled and I fell to my knees. It’s a… it’s a… dragon. It’s a goddamn dragon.

All the butterflies rushed to my stomach. Excitement and nerves washed over me. I had never been so happy. I felt like a kid and this burst of childlike energy washed over me, and then something peculiar happened. Wings appeared. I had long grey iridescent wings coming out of my back. They were attached to me, and I was flying in circles trying to control them, but I couldn’t stop laughing. I prayed until this day that no one was there to witness it. I managed to regain some control and straightened myself. I was in awe. They were so beautiful and they were mine. I was overwhelmed with joy and it was strange that the wings came with their own tracker. I was able to sense Earth’s electromagnetic navigation field. It’s what racing pigeons use to travel to different locations, and I now have access to it. I spread my wings and with force I flew, faster and faster, in circles, up and down. I passed other flyers on the way and the world looked so different from above.

My wings were one of many abilities I had to discover. If you could imagine it, it could happen, and for me, my greatest abilities were the power of imagination and the ability to transform. There were no limits to transitioning, but each transition required metamorphosis to transform. We were in the age of infinity and everything and anything felt possible. In order to gain new abilities, you had to understand the abilities. The deeper the understanding, the greater the connection and strength to any new ability.

I’m not who I used to be, and tomorrow I’ll be something entirely different. My readers, my family, I’ve given you the start of how my journey began, and tomorrow I’ll teach you more, but for now I have the Amazon sunset to enjoy and fruit to forage. Take care of yourself, you miracle.

K

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Spectrum of dreams

I’m a rouge star dancing
In the specks of dust,
Weaving a vortex
Of cosmic lust.
Spectrums of color
Shape into vibrant streams,
Molding particles of glitter
Into artistic dreams.
A nectar of magic merges
With my ember of hope,
Forming a single moment
Through a kaleidoscope.
Golden rivers dissolve
Into angelic wings,
Showering the planets
In a blanket of rings.
The Universe beams
Radiating lights,
As shades of wonder
Expose the night.
Rainbows of hope fuse
With the stratosphere,
leaving their mark
As my star engineer.
The echoes wave
Into the twilight hours,
As the Sun whispers
Goodnight my flowers.

K

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Miracles

The earth knows
How to warm the core,
As the sea knows
How to touch the shore.
The oceans know
The current can break,
From peace to tsunami
In a mighty quake.
Every organism born
Is able to grow,
As they start their path
As a tiny embryo.
The planet knows
To circle the Sun,
And the moon follows
When the day is done.
The magnetic fields
Know how to protect,
This world is a miracle
That people forget.

K

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The comedown

Tonight started out good
But I’ve started tripping again,
Someone mixed up my drink
With some kind of hallucinogen.
Like Alice in Wonderland syndrome
It’s messing with my perception,
The rooms are changing in size
Whilst unicorns block the reception.
The floor is spinning in circles
The walls are closing in
Fairies are stripping on the chandelier
Whilst spiders are crawling up my skin.
It went from one extreme to another
“Have one more drink” she said
I didn’t think I’d be slaying monsters
Trying to decapitate my head.
Kicked out by the queen of hearts
Straight into a taxi with a killer clown,
Collapsing on my bed in disbelief
This is going to be one hell of a comedown.

K

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Maze runner

There are rooms
in my mind,
If you open the doors
Don’t be afraid
Of what you’ll find.
Some are beautiful
Others you’ll fear,
If they’re dark
I bring flowers here.
Don’t go in the closets
They can get messy,
Find the secret rooms
There’s not that many.
You don’t need an invite
There is no key,
It’s an open maze
To experience me.

K

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Nothing

I’m writing my life
On a Celestial page,
Where time doesn’t exist
It’s just an illusion of age.
There is an in-between
I fell through the gap,
I asked the abyss to help
And it led me into a trap.
There’s silence in sound here
Black and white in colour,
The spectrums merge
With dimensions to discover.
The chronicle of events
I stand here touching,
And it all makes sense
Life equates to nothing.

K

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Ashes to flame

Accept the beauty
In her untamed flames.
She’s willing to burn
For everything,
She’s ever loved.
A wild, hot mess,
Who’s no stranger
To the ashes.
She rises up
Like the phoenix
Reborn into flames,
And she’s not afraid
To burn more powerful
Than the fires
Surrounding her.

K

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Broken art.

Become my artist
For just one day,
Sculpture me with passion
Masked in delicate clay.
Paint me with detail
Like I’m a masterpiece,
Canvas me in freedom
Shelter me into sheets.
Spray me onto walls
With your graffiti art,
Frame the imperfections
Of my fractured heart.
With colour’s of joy
And tears of charcoal,
Hang me in a gallery
For broken souls.

K

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I’ll find me, before I find you..

Before I find you
I’ll need to find me,
So when we meet
My heart can be free.
Instead of searching for love
I’m climbing my wall,
It keeps me from loving
So I’m unable to fall.
I’ll be your everything
You’ll deserve that much,
So when we meet
I’ll appreciate your touch.
When we kiss
Without hesitation,
I won’t be there
Battling my frustrations.
Let me seek the barriers
keeping me from you
So when we meet,
We can have a love that’s true.

K

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Fallen world

The earth splits
With my feet on both sides,
Gravity pulls me down
I’m diving into crashing tides.
The world has fallen
Like the angels once fell,
My head is spinning around
I’m tumbling from this carousel.
I’m screaming at the skies
The clouds give me no answer,
I’m left with a sinking hope
My feet are tied to an anchor.
Closing my eyes, I see your face
Your beauty drowns all my fear,
Those final moments approach
I’m ready now, you are here.

k

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Frozen in time – Short story

A short story on another perspective of the Titanic sinking for a vocal challenge. Please let me know any feedback. I’m still trying out short story writing and this feels like it’s missing much. Vocal link

Four days ago, on April 10th 1912, I boarded the Titanic from Southampton to New York in hope of a new life. You see, I was escaping a life that was no longer my own. I was set on marrying a Duke in an arranged marriage, a Duke of royal title, but I could not betray myself by settling for less than I deserve. Marrying for titles and not for love. After I turned down the duke’s proposal, I, once an esteemed lady, was outcasted by my own family, and I hoped for a fresh new beginning in New York. I had dreams of being a musician, but growing up in London, a career as a lady was not on the cards. My only role would have to be to bear children and play the good wife. A path that was not my own. New York was a chance for me to not be a lady, but just a person. I had sold my rubies and emeralds in exchange for currency and brought a ticket to the ship of dreams. The Titanic was the talk of the town and I was to endure this magical journey sailing on the seas of change, or so I thought.

I remember arriving at the port and at first glance, the Titanic was overwhelming. It took a moment to take in the size, and yet my mind wondered how the seas could carry such mass. I was, in fact, boarding the ship of dreams, and my imagination of the future seemed bright and positive.

The first 4 days were a chance for me to reshape myself and reflect on my life. The Titanic was full of ladies and gentlemen in suits and gowns, a reminder of the life I was leaving. Observing it from afar made me pity the socialism and constraints of the roles required. For the first time, I felt free. The food onboard was delightful; plenty of delicate sweets and fine wine to be enjoyed in the presence of the sea air. The band wore black and white everything and played with such grace. The violin strings played through the halls and chambers and kissed the nerves of the all ears that heard. There was plenty of entertainment through the balls and games arranged. It was truly a surreal experience. The days and nights were filled with peace, but that peace did not last.

On day fourth day in my voyage, I had to have an early night. My stomach churned, and I had put it down to seasickness. After just 3 hours of sleeping, I was awoken around 23:40 by a mighty thud, and the glass in my chamber rattled into my dreams. The dread shivered through my veins, and I knew something had occurred. I heard people running around the halls looking for answers, yet the ship’s crew were telling people to stay in their rooms and that everything was okay. My women’s intuition told me otherwise. I sensed the worse and got dressed, gathered my strength and headed to the deck. The sea salt and frozen air hit the back of my throat and matched the burning in my gut. There was ice on the deck, and I could hear the captain talking to his crew. He said we had hit an iceberg and the lower chambers were flooding. They were planning an evacuation.

Everything escalated awfully fast. I raced around on the deck in a panic trying to find the answers or a solution, but I was powerless. My life was again out of my control. People headed to the decks; children were crying; they were still in their night frocks and alarmed by the commotion that had imploded around them. The Atlantic Ocean was still, yet in the mist of stillness was chaos and the cries of many. The captain announced that the ship was flooding and they would begin an evacuation in which women and children would go first. At that moment, I felt the hearts of families sinking with the ship, and it would be a trip that would break many and the heartache would travel through lifetimes.

An unsteadiness travelled through the waves. The ship would violently shake and the sounds of the cabins beneath us being engorged by the Atlantic were felt on the deck. The slow collapse only escalated the state of urgency through the four days the Titanic was going under. Four days which felt like an eternity. A constant loop of panic, survival, desperation and awaiting for our turn to board the boats. Four days of crying and screaming, being surrounded by confusion and the chances of surviving shrinking with each breath of the ice air. Women and children were being frantically boarded onto the lifeboats, and there were many people and little lifeboats.

My turn had arrived. I was allowed onboarded a life boat. The wait seemed like forever and there was only 5 lifeboats remaining. People were throwing themselves overboard only to be beaten by the ocean’s artic touch. I climbed aboard the life boat afraid I would fall between the gap into the sub-zero abyss. There was no space to move, the boat was overloaded with women and children in hysterics. As we were lowered the sound of the band filled my ears once again. The band continued to do what they loved in their final moments, with a smile on their faces and immaculately dressed. Their efforts will always be honourable.

As the life boat drifted away from the unsinkable ship, the lights of the ship flickered and amplified the cries and screams of those who remained. The further the lifeboat travelled, the more the screams just became an echo in the twilight hours and an echo in my mind. I looked at the faces of the now widows, stained with tears and the fatherless children who will never see the smile of their father again. Some part of me ached for my parents to hold me again and tell me it was going to be okay. Some part of me wished I stayed.

A ship so full of life not only 4 days ago, is now a ghost ship frozen in time beneath the Atlantic Ocean, in which the spirits onboard continue to dance to the melodies of the violins, at one with the sands of time, kissed by the ocean’s breath.

K

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Puzzling

Darling, you may be broken and in pieces.

But a jigsaw never got completed with missing pieces.

I’ll assemble the puzzle of your history,

and follow your fears into the darkness where your shadow left you.

Not only will I come up with the missing pieces, but

I’ll also show you the perfect picture I already see.

K

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The final chapter…

If the world was ending
Would you be there,
I’d be standing on a roof
Shooting a flare.
Would you race by my side
To wipe away the tears,
Holding me in your arms
As we faced our final fears.
When we take our last breaths
Could you look me in the eye,
Tell me everything would be okay
Knowing our dreams would die,
Tomorrow will be ashes
Yesterday would be gone,
No more walks on the beach
Or dusk until dawns.
But in our final moments
I know that I will be okay,
As you’d be there beside me
Which no force could take away.

K

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Perspectives

Reality is beautifully unique

A complicated surprise,

No star looks the same

Through different eyes.

We walk down our paths

Hand in hand my friend,

Taking different journeys

We will all meet in the end.

You are never alone

Another will be able to relate,

To the problems you cry

and your heartache.

What is this word ‘normal’

They try & force us to be,

How can we all be the same

In these individual realities.

We are part of oneness

Through the love of Earth,

Gravity keeps us grounded

and holds all our worth.

We are written into one story

Living in separate stages,

Disconnected by perspectives

But connected by the pages.

K

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Beautiful sickness

Life is our lover
The mistress in the affair,
Fucking us daily
It’s stripping us bare.
Playing mind games
We jump to its feet,
Feeding us seduction
To keep us sweet.
We bow down
To all the highs & lows,
Give and take
All the laughs & blows.
We can’t end the affair
It’s too addictive,
Because life itself
Is a beautiful sickness.

K

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Aware

You hear the roars
In the screams,
You see the light
In people’s dreams.
You feel alive
In the darkest night,
You see more
Without your sight.
You hear the whispers
In a crowded room,
You feel the touch
Of the flowers bloom.
You smell his scent
From miles away,
You’re more connected
Than night & day.

K

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Mythical

When she falls tell them,
She walked with giants
A fierce warrior,
That overruled the tyrants.
A women who solved
The labyrinths maze,
And stood up to Zeus
When he asked for praise.
With an army of Titans
From both heaven & hell
This was no goddess
Just a fallen Angel.
Leading warriors into war
They salvaged power
But she hated what she saw.
She destroyed her sword
And gave up command
Running far & fast
Away from this land.
Taking the evil she once released,
She boxed it up for Pandora
To never be unleashed.

K

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Library of dreams – Short story

https://vocal.media/fiction/library-of-dreams

Today isn’t my usual day. Today is the beginning of something new. It’s a sunny Friday, and I have my usual weekly round trip to the library to complete. I always look forward to the library trip. The smell of old, dusty books mixed with the smell of wood and damp from the condensation around the windows, all homed in a place of silence and wisdom. Something about the library felt like home. My local library is one of a kind. It’s never busy, with two floors of magic. There are a lot of dark corners and hidden places for me to kick off my shoes, spread out on the floor and eat my picnic, which is against the rules. However, I’m sure not to touch the books with my food greased hands. I may be a rebel, but at least I’m a clean one.

I thought today would be the day for my short red floral summer dress, it has the cutest daisies printed on it, suited with a crop denim jacket and white slip-on sandals, which I could easily kick off later. I brush my long blonde hair back and tie it into a messy bun and add mascara to make my blue eyes pop, with a rose blush on to my pale skin. “Underwear or no underwear?” I thought “No underwear, no one will notice”.

It is the end of June, and the summer season is already blessing us. The sun is gracing us with its warm embrace. The smell of lavender is present as I make my way on foot to the library. I live in a small village called Elven. It’s full of old cobble buildings that are painted with history. Elven is surrounded by countryside, with plenty of walking trails and waterfalls to lose yourself in. It’s home to about 300 people. Everyone is polite and happy. A village of mystery but where everyone knows each other and help is always available. I’m extremely lucky to have grown up here. It isn’t big, but it’s home. I’d read in my stories about the main character leaving small villages in search of adventure, but that is never me. You see, I have so much adventure in me and I travel place to place. But nowhere felt quite like Elven. When you find your home, you can just feel it in your bones, and Elven is my home.

I arrive at the library and hand over my old books. I know the clerk, Thea, from my year at school. We never really spoke but always exchange a smile, as if we are familiar. I am hoping she will overlook the fact that one of the books is overdue. “Thank you, anything else?” asks Thea with a cheeky grin. “Not for now, I may have more to check out later, thank you.” I’m in the mood for a classic fairy-tale and, although there are thousands of books here that I have not read, I chose one of my all-time favourites. Alice in Wonderland. Lewis Carroll truly blessed this world with his writings. I could truly relate to Alice. I feel like I have been down the rabbit hole many times during my mediations. I’d read something familiar whilst I’m in the library, as most of my time is spent eating, so I can’t full commit to reading. I grab Alice in Wonderland and head to the map’s sections. Why the maps, you ask? Well, in all my years visiting libraries, I always found the maps to be the quietest section. I guess it’s because people use digital maps and the maps section in this library has such a hidden corner with added dust, which only heightens the aroma. No-one ever interrupts me here either, no cameras, no security, and no-one to tell me that I can’t eat and drink here. It is a win all around.

I follow the turns of the shelves and arrive in my heaven. The aisle had one small entry and which is closed in by the surrounding book shelves, with hard wooden panel walls at both ends of the aisle for me to lean against. I always chose the right end of the aisle because it is a little bit brighter than the left. There is no window, just the right amount of light from the old orange lights above. The lights give it a very vintage feel, especially with all the cob webs surrounding them. I pull out my cheese salad and drink to begin my mad tea party. I barely ate three forks full of salad when a warm shiver melts in my core. I feel someone approaching. “Oh my,” I exclaim as I look up. Tall, dark and handsome, dressed casually in cargo shorts and a tight white tee that accentuates his perfect muscles, glancing at my still face with my mouth open and eyebrows raised as if it’s the first time I’m seeing a man. “Oh wow, stop staring, shake it off, just stop, what the fuck, blink already, move your head, oh wow, what a twat!” I thought. I quickly look down and blankly stare into my book, trying to process what is happening. I could sit in this corner for hours and not see or hear anyone, and Mr. Handsome has appeared this week. “I’ve read too many books,” I thought. “The name is Caspian,” he says with a husky voice, stretching his hand out to shake. I quickly stand to my feet, pulling my dress down and ensuring nothing is exposed in the sudden rush. “Astrid, it’s nice to meet you.” I took his hand in mine, and when our eyes met for the first time, the warmth rushes back to my core. I feel like I have known him forever. My body and soul recognises him. My knees begin to shake and the warmth rushes to my now blushing cheeks. Our eyes and souls unite in this moment, and I know he feels it too. There is a resistant frown that appears on his warm tanned skin, but his green eyes are transparent to what he desires. The electricity between us could have lit up the entire village, and the chemistry multiplies by the second. Time completely stops and there is no one in this space other than us. I feel him time and time again. I just didn’t know what that feeling was until now as our bodies and souls took over the moment. We are meant to be. With his hand at the back of my neck, he pulls me closer and our lips meet. He makes love to me with his lips alone and the shiver runs throughout my entire being. I’m unsure how long we are in this embrace; I’m completely lost in another time and space with this stranger. He wraps his free arm around me and picks me up, holding our lips together. My back pins against the wall. I belong to him and he to me. It isn’t like any books I’ve read. As our lips part and eyes opened, we hold each other’s gaze, and then, I don’t know why, I just put my head on his shoulder. Tears begin leaving my eyes. I’m in a state of confusion, was this a dream, I have no idea of what this means. This entire moment fills a hole inside me, but I’m left with so many questions. For the first time in my life, I just know I’ll be okay, I’m truly home.

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Anticipation

The heat of passion

With flares of temptation,

A touch of your leg

And discreet flirtation.

The flutter of your eyes

And the ache of my heart,

I’m trying very hard

Not to fall apart.

A devilish grin

To draw you in,

Across the table

I graze your skin.

Cheeky seduction

With the tension teasing

I feel my heart

Rapidly beating.

Eyes lock

And my soul strips,

Feeling the desire

Thrust through my hips.

Resisting the pull

Goosebumps are unloading,

Your scent is electric

The chemistry is exploding

Biting my lip

And controlling the urge,

Anticipating the moment

We finally merge.

K

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